DO ANIMALS TALK TO US?

Can animals talk?  Do they have a language of their own?  Oh, you bet they do, and it's mostly all Greek to us.  I understand only one language - English.  That puts me at a communication handicap at times, but fortunately for me, I live where most people speak the same language.  Half the people who live where I do speak Spanish, or a form of it we call Tex-Mex down here in Texas, but they also speak English.  I've studied French and Spanish, don't speak them well but can read a little of it.  Some folks might argue that I don't even speak English well, but I seem to be able to get my point across when I speak or write it. And I communicate with animals on a regular basis, and that's 'cause I understand dog and cat language.  I learned to do that by simply paying attention to their mannerisms, their barks and meows and other sounds.  The tell me when they want food, or when they want in or out, or when they want affection.  If you observe and listen, you learn their language . . . and animals are a lot smarter than most people give them credit for being.

Most people have an anthropocentric relationships with animals, and that comes from the erroneous assumption that we are superior to them.  Have you ever seen a human being as graceful as a cat? Can you jump six feet off the ground, or navigate along the top of a wood fence only a half inch wide?  No, and you can't move at an unbelievable speed either, and you can't climb a tree like a squirrel either.  Compared to a cat, you are slow and clumsy and plodding . . . and perhaps stupid. We can't take on any of the physical attributes of a cat, but they can sure take on some of ours.  Anyone who takes time to work with them knows how much they are capable of learning.  I've got an Australian cow dog with a working vocabulary of several hundred words, and that's because she pays attention to what I say.  So do my cats, and I talk to them a lot . . . and they talk back.

Animals don't need to wear a wristwatch to know what time it is, and they don't need to watch the weather reports to know what's ahead.  My cow dog knows in advance when rain is coming.  She hates it because the thunder and lightening scare her, and I can tell from her movements when something is in the air.  My cats tend to huddle up when bad weather is coming.  They tell me when it's time to eat and sleep, their two favorite things.  I've got one cat that sits and stares at me when he comes inside for the night, makes repeated trips to the bedroom, looks up at the bed and then at me, saying, "Hey, I'm sleepy.  Let's hit the sack."  And he won't go bed without me, likes to sleep curled up behind my knees or around my feet.  Another cat crawls up in my lap and gives me a little nip to remind me it's time for his rubs, his attention for the day.  They all have a way of telling me what they want, and like children, they act up sometimes.  If Gracie, a calico cat, doesn't get what she wants, she pees on something that belongs to me.

Animals can be selfish, moody, angry, sad, disappointed, happy, or playful, just like people can, and they show that through behavior.  Animals grieve when one of their own kind dies, or is sick.  My little cocker spaniel dogs knows when you feel bad and tries to comfort you.  The cats have ways of telling me when something isn't right, when they feel bad . . . and you only know these things when you pay attention, listen or observe their language.  And like with people, some dogs and cats have certain personality traits and mannerisms.  In fact, each one of them is different from the others in some way, and what works for one of them might not work for the others.  You can't treat all of them the same way.

Some of my cats, for instance, are totally dependent, while others are free spirits that want to be allowed a lot of freedom to move about and do things their way.  Not all of them are friends, and some conflicts develop between cats that don't like each other.  Sometimes that changes when they reach an accommodation.  Sometimes they never do that and you have to keep them separated.  And sometimes, you'll notice some real love affairs between two animals.  Some of our cats are more attached to the dogs than they are to the other cats, want to be around them all the time.  Do they share a language of some kind?  I think so.

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

It's an old line, popularized more after the movie Forest Gump.  His mother said, "Stupid is as stupid does," and that's fairly close to the truth . . . in practical terms.  Forest was "intellectually challenged," gifted in other ways, and lovable.  My sister, who died back in 2004, was supposedly mentally retarded.  My parents were told that early on, and she never really attended school.  Late in life, a specialist tested her and came back with a startling result.  She was not retarded.  Her physical condition, severe handicaps, led people to assume that she was likewise just as mentally retarded.  She didn't speak well, and since she never went to school, didn't know much.  Learning that distressed my mother in one way, but it didn't surprise her.  She had two master's degrees - one in mental retardation, and one in the exceptional child.  Vindication, that's a good word for what it was for my sister.

IQ is easy to assess, difficult to understand.  The average person running around out there has an IQ between 90 and 110, with the average in the U.S. being 98.  Your average high school grad has an IQ of about 100, with a college grad coming in between 115-120.  If your are above 115, you're designated as bright.  If you're somewhere in the 125-135 class you're exceptionally bright, or gifted, and if you're between 135-145, you're exceptionally gifted, near genius.  Above that is genius.  Below 90 gets sort of fuzzy when it comes to definitions.  80 to 90 is not a retarded class, but most folks call it dullard class.  Smart enough to function, but barely.  An idiot is the worst and lowest class at under 25 IQ, and morons are at 50 or less. I've seen other designations and some variations in scores, but that's about it.

What does all that mean?  Well, as it turns out according to statistical studies, a lot.  The higher a person's IQ, the better their chances at success in life.  Higher IQ people are happier, more productive, healthier . . . and that's because they're smart enough to make mostly smart decisions.  Yeah, stupid is as stupid does.  Right.  Then why is it that high IQ people do some really stupid things?  Just look at the list of politicians who've fucked up big time while in office, and we're talking high IQ people here.  What about Bill Clinton, a high IQ guy for sure, and those famous blow jobs at the White House?  What the hell was he thinking?  What about Clarence Thomas, a Supreme Court Justice, and his idiotic remarks to a woman?  I could go on and on because there's no running out of examples - smart people doing stupid things.

Does that mean that Forest Gump's mama was wrong?  Well, not really.  When the result of some action turns out to be stupid, it came about as a result of a stupid thought process.  What we're talking about here is a big time brain fart, a lapse in judgment, an episode of stupidity.  One of my first cousins had a Ph.d. in chemistry, and he drank himself to death at a fairly early age.  OK, so the AMA long ago said alcoholism was a disease, so a disease killed him . . .  technically.  But we all have choices to make in life, and smart people sometimes make stupid choices.  I had my bout with alcoholism, and maybe it was an addiction outside of my control, but I did it.  It was my fault, my stupid decision to drink.  It didn't kill me because I finally made a smart decision and went to treatment for it, joined AA, fought back, and got my life back . . . and that was more than 30 years ago.  My high IQ finally kicked in, and that saved me.  And yeah, I've got a high IQ.  I'm one of those exceptionally gifted folks, a former college professor . . . with a history of doing a lot of stupid things.

So, mama Gump, you hit the nail on the head.  Stupid is as stupid does.  I've seen some people with low IQs do some remarkable things.  Some of them have been highly successful in life because they got the most out of what they had, and even if they're weren't successful in most things, they managed to get through life . . . a life they enjoyed and made a difference in other people's lives.  My sister made a big difference in my life.  Growing up in a home with a handicapped sister broadened my perspectives about some things, made me aware of how lucky I was, made me appreciate some of the things in life most people overlook.  Some very intelligent people have shaped my life in ways I could never fully explain, but I'd be a complete fool to overlook the things some people who weren't smart taught me.

Maybe we should turn mama Gump's statement around.  Maybe it should be "smart is as smart does."

IS COLLEGE THE RIGHT WAY OR A RIPOFF?

I taught college for 33 years, don't regret my career choice, and I'm not about to knock the profession that served me well.  If I had it to do all over again, I'd chose another occupation, especially in this day and age.  A college education is too expensive these days, and I don't like the direction higher education has taken in recent years.  It's still a smart move to get a college education, but in some ways it's a ripoff.  I blame that mostly on poor administration, planning, and competition.

Ask a high school senior what college they want to attend, and they'll usually name a big university.  Here in Texas, we've got some big ones, and by big I mean colleges with fifty thousand students.  The University of Texas in Austin is at least that big, and Texas A&M and Texas Tech are probably close to being that large.  We've got other large universities, some of them private, but in my opinion chosing any of them is a poor option for most high school graduates.  Personally, I think large universities are to education what McDonalds is to food.  The only choice you can make that's worse than the large university is going the distance education route - education without ever seeing a college campus.

The quality of education has been in a downward spiral for years now.  During my 33 years of teaching, I watched it decline year by year.  Kids coming to college just weren't prepared to do real college work, and that left the colleges with choices to make - either turn them away, or lower standards.  They opted for lowering standards, and I'm not talking about just entrance requirements.  Those standards have actually gone up some, but the on campus quality of education is now much less demanding than it was during my days in college.  We've got too many colleges and universities competing for students.  It's a money game, plain and simple.

We've over sold the idea that everyone should go to college.  Some occupations require it, but both of my kids have college degrees, and neither of them worked at occupations associated with them.  My daughter got a biology degree but ended up managing restaurants.  My son has a graduate degree in art, but he's a bartender.  I could offer a decent agrument that going to college to get trained for some occupation is somewhat self-defeating.  What about going for the purpose of enrichment of life?  I can promise you that living life as an educated person beats hell out of living one as a dumbass.  But all college graduates aren't smart, and all people with just a high school degree aren't stupid.  To assume that would be to ignore individuality.

I had a conversation recently with a young Mormon missionary out doing his two year duty to the church, and he talked about being confused as to what he should do about education.  He went to college a year, then dropped out to do his missionary duty.  Now he doesn't know if he wants to go back to college or do something else.  My advice to him was that college isn't for everyone, not even some smart kids who could easily graduate.  I also offered him a little more advice, something I've always believed in.  Even if you do go back to college and get a degree, you're still wise to develop some skills.  It's sad to see someone with a Ph.D. who can't even drive a nail into a board, has no idea how his car engine works, and can't even mow the lawn.  You should never get to the point where you think you're above something, especially a little hard labor.

I once knew a college professor who tinkered with old cars, and he turned into a wizzard mechanic.  Another professor friend got into restoring old houses and ended up making more money doing that than he did teaching college.  Don't be one dimensional, and don't be a snob.  That's never smart.  So going to college is still a good idea, but keep other things in mind.  You can't change the system as it now exists.  College might not be as good as it once was, and it might be too expensive, but that's what you've got to deal with . . . if you want that.  The degree you get won't be cheap, but it won't be cheap when it comes to looking for jobs either.  And if you don't want that, think about high skill level training.  Regardless of what you do, you're going to have to study something.  Nobody is born automatically knowing how to do something.

If I hadn't gone to college and graduate school, what would I have done?  I don't know for sure, but I think I would've been a mechanic.  My buddy Richard dropped out of school without graduating, ended up being a hotrod builder . . . and he did well at it.  He even became an inventer of mechanical things, and he did that on his own.  But like everyone else, somebody had to show him how.  It sure helps if you're a really bright kid like he was.  Regardless of what you do, don't waste your best asset.