IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME

Yeah, it's sure true that if you build it, they will come . . . and mess with you.  They'll come and want to examine your building permit, and if you don't have one, they'll fine the crap out of you.  They'll come and demand inspections to make sure you did everything up to code, and if you didn't, they'll make you do it over . . . and they'll likely fine you again.  They'll come a make sure it gets placed on the property tax rolls.  All this doesn't sound on the surface all that unreasonable.  We have zoning ordinances for reasons that protect the entire community, to make sure buildings are safe and all that.  These ordinances protect people against unsightly structures or create hazards or present a danger to public safety.  But . . . and it's a big but . . . building ordinances are likewise an intrusion into a person's privacy, the sanctity of his home and land.

Stop to think about it for a moment.  Think about the level of intrusion this brings about, and then examine closely the real reasons for these pesky regulations.  Are they really for the sake of safety, or are they just another way to get more money out of the citizenry.  First off, look at who makes these rules and enforces them - politicians and petty bureaucrats mostly.  We pay their salaries to start with.  That's what taxation is all about, to pay all the people it takes to run government at all levels.  And we're talking big bucks here, and still, that obviously isn't enough because they're always looking for ways to get more money out of the people they're supposed to be serving.

Obtaining a building permit is not expensive, shouldn't keep anyone from getting one, but that's not where they make the money.  The real rub comes in with the building regulations.  Did you hire a licensed electrician to wire the building?  Did you hire a professional plumber to plumb the place?  Did a licensed roofer put on the roof?  And it goes on and one, and hiring these people will cost you more big bucks.  It's one of those you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours sort of things.  Laws are most often set up to benefit someone, and it's easy to see who is most benefited from building ordinances in cities.  And if you don't do it, the city fines the crap out of you, another benefit for them.

I'm by no means a pure libertarian, but I resent the intrusion of government into things that should be left to the property owner.  I understand the need for building permits and ordinances that require that structures be built according to a specific code.  I resent the forced mechanism for making me comply to nitpicking regulations for things like a storage shed in my yard.  I've got one in my back yard right here in the middle of town, and people who see it are highly complimentary of it.  It has no electricity, no plumbing, and is simply a home for junk and stuff . . . and as long as it's not unsightly, and I can build it on my own without professional help, I should be allowed to.  Allowed to?  Just saying the words pisses me off.  It's my house, my property, and that should guarantee me certain rights and freedom from unreasonable regulatory intrusion.

Most of the time, code enforcement people only act when a complaint is filed with them . . . and this is good.  Not only did I build my little storage shed out back without a permit, I build a patio room onto the back of my house.  And I closed in my two car garage and made a big hobby room out of it for my wife.  Didn't get permits for that either, but I did hire a professional electrician to do the wiring.  All that
took place ten years ago.  When I was closing in the garage, doing the remodeling work there, it was done in plain sight of all the neighbors.  Nobody said a word, but one day this building contractor came by to ask if I needed any help with the project.  He was out hustling business, and I don't blame anyone for that.  I explained that it was going to be a lengthy process, something I'd do as time and money permitted, that I couldn't afford to hire him.  He pointed out to me that I was breaking the law, that I needed a permit from the city, and that some of that work was required by law to be done by a licensed professional.  He must've picked up the murderous look in my eyes 'cause he quickly added that he didn't intend to complain about it to the city.  As far as I know, he didn't.  Sometimes having bad eyes pays off, I guess.

It wouldn't be fair of me not to point out a few things.  I did a lousy job on the patio room and must now fix the problems.  A professional would've known better.  I did a good job on the garage addition, except I put in French doors (the wife wanted 'em), and that's not good for exterior doors.  I hired a
professional carpenter later, who told me that.  "It's a common mistake people make," he said. In fact,
nothing I build is perfect, but nothing in life is, so I don't worry much about it.  I'm smart enough, though, to build structures that are safe.  If anything, I overbuild.  I'm not sure, but I think there's probably a law against that too.

THE ITTY-BITTY KITTY RANCH

I've got this thing for little houses, and I'm not talking about homes or dwellings where people actually live.  You could live in a little house, I suppose, but that's not for most people.  Here in America, we're into big . . . the bigger, the better . . . and most people want to live in as large a house as they can afford.  In fact, most of those people overbought, got themselves strapped with big payments which come with big houses.  I live in a fairly large home, about 3,000 sq. feet, and it's more than we need.  No kids to worry about, hardly ever have visitors, and it's just me and the old woman now.  We need big because we've got lots of stuff, and I'm always looking for more space.  That's where the little houses come in.

My home had a big patio out back when I bought it back in 2000 - about 15 by 25 feet - and I turned that into a patio room.  Didn't take long to fill it up with stuff, and now it's sort of a catch all room.  I didn't want another room on this house, just a place for plants, flowers, counter with storage, shelves,
etc.  In the back yard, I build a little house, took my inspiration from Sunday houses.  Down here in central Texas, especially around Fredericksburg, there are lots of little Sunday houses, left over from the days the German ranchers and farmers built them in town so they'd have some place to stay when they came into town on the weekends for church, shopping, whatever.  My little house out back is only 8 by 12 with a porch across the front, has two windows and a door . . . and it's full of stuff too.

Across town is the Line Camp, an old house I bought some ten years ago for a guitar shop.  I spent a year restoring it, fixed it to where it was somewhat of a rustic reproduction of ranch line camps, places where cowboys lived in remote areas of the ranch.  My line camp is in town, of course, with a working shop in the back and a place for things I've collected over the years . . . and it's full of stuff too.  It's also full of rescued cats.  That house is only about 1,100 sq. feet . . . and I've run out of room over there too.  I've built a number of little houses, now have another one in the drafting stage.  In fact, come fall and winter, I plan to build several little houses on the grounds over there.

I've always admired those old saloon, or western storefront, style structures, and I've drawn up the plans for one.  It won't be big, but it will be constructed to be a secure place for tools, equipment, etc.  I like working outside when weather permits, and this is good country for doing that most of the year.  Before the year is out, I'll build another small shed that will look like an old time outdoor toilet, an outhouse, only like 4 by 8 feet, and specifically made for little critters - the cats mostly.  Yeah, I'm going to have my very own cathouse.  I'll also construct a western style gazebo house, a dog house that will look like a small livery stable.  That ought to keep me busy a while.

This may sound ridiculous, but the cost of building these things is very affordable.  My saloon style house will be 16 feet thick, including the front porch, and 20 feet long, and I'll get that totally framed in
with a metal roof for around $2,500.00.  No plumbing or electricity, and I'll finish the inside as time permits.  Maybe by next summer I'll wire it so I can run tools there.  The outhouse will cost me about five hundred bucks, total.  The little livery stable house will cost about a grand.  Most of the cost in building little houses is in the labor, not the materials.  If you build properly, know how to utilize space, you can store a lot of stuff in small houses.

I always wanted a ranch or farm, but that won't ever happen.  My ranch is going to be itty-bitty.  I'm thinking about calling it The Itty-Bitty Kitty Ranch.  Maybe I'll post some pictures in a later blog.