First off, let's clarify the George thing. I'm not talking about George Bush because the only thing he was right about was . . . was . . . ah, duh . . . well, maybe I'll think of something. I'm talking about George Carlin, the funny man who made a lot of sense. I miss him. I thought he was funny, but I liked his take on politics, government, and the society we live in. I particularly appreciated his view on fat people, and that comes from a guy who's been overweight most of his adult life. I'm not fat, but I'd definitely pudgy at 5' 11" and about 210 lbs. I've weighed as much as 267 lbs., but most of the time I've stayed around 240. I blamed that on genetics because I come from a long line of pudgy people (and a few lardasses, and a very few skinny ones). But I'm down to 210 now, and I no longer look fat . . . or even pudgy.
My overweightness had nothing to do with genetics, so I can give up on that excuse. I ate too much, plain and simple, and I often ate the wrong thing. I mention this because the holidays are coming up, and that means I need to go into the control mode. Oh, I'm definitely going to eat some pie, and turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes, and everything that goes with holiday food . . . but I'm going to do that in moderation . . .and then I'll go into several months of very light eating. I just came off a period of meatless eating that lasted about 3 months. I had no intentions of being a permanent vegetarian, but I do that from time to time, and it works. Still, I get down on myself from time to time for not being thinner and lighter . . . and that's when I go to Walmart.
Walmart is a good place to get some decent exercise because you have to do lots of walking up and down isles looking for things. But that's not the most beneficial thing about a trip there. Be an observer of other shoppers (a critical observer), and you'll leave with less damaging foods in your cart. George Carlin was critical of obese people by asking the question: Who has sex with these people? I cleaned up that remark some, but it's a good question. A better question could be: How did these people get their fat asses in such a gross and disgusting condition? The answer is easy. They did it the same way I did, except they did a better job of it. What I'm talking about here are the folks that weigh close to a quarter of a ton, or at least 300 lbs. And you'll usually find a fatass like that cruising the store in one of those electric carts.
I knew a couple earlier in life that weighed half a ton. No kidding, each of them weighed close to five hundred pounds. They had several kids, good jobs, lived a comfortable life, and then they both started having back problems. The doctor treating them for the problem was a good friend, and old drinking buddy, in fact. He once turned to me and said, "Can you imagine those two having sex? They recently told me they slept in a waterbed. You know, I'd damn near give up a year's salary to watch those two have sex in a waterbed." And they did lose some weight. Last time I saw them, which was many years ago, they'd trimmed down to maybe 300 lbs. each. They still had bad backs, but my guess is that came from the waterbed thing. Maybe it finally exploded.
I feel sorry for grossly fat people, but just to a point. I've always dreamed of having control of the Walmart speaker system for just one day. I'd like to make announcements like, "Listen up, all you fatasses. Get out of that electric scooter and see if you can walk off some fat." Or, "For all you tubbos riding in the electric carts, there's a sale of diet foods on isle 8." Yeah, I know, that's mean. But some of the fatasses need the reminder because overweightness is a blight on our society. It's damaging to our health care system because I can guarantee you that every one of those blubberbutts will sooner or later get sick. I developed type two diabetes some time ago, and I've got no one but myself to blame. I caused it, and I pay for that too. But in lots of cases of overindulgence, we all pay for it in insurance costs, hospital costs, doctor bills, etc. Somebody has to take care of the folks who almost eat themselves into oblivion.
One last thing, and it has to do with Carlin's question. Who has sex with these people? The only good answer is desperate people, the ones who can't find it anywhere else . . . or the ones who're in love with the fat folks. Yeah, lots of these people are loved by somebody. One of my fat friends once told me, "You know, looks don't have a thing to do with how sex feels. Everybody looks alike in the dark." My smartass reply was, "You're probably right. Pretty is as pretty does, but when pretty does it, you can leave the lights on."
Oh, I just thought of something Dubya did right. He wasn't fat.
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