WHAT AM I DOING HERE WITH ALL THESE KIDS?

If you want a reminder of how old you are, look around you.  You're surrounded by kids, and I'm not talking about little kids.  Anyone under forty looks like a kid to me.  It's not like I get a lot of exposure to kids these days, but I know one when I see one.  I'm a retired college professor who got too much exposure to young folks, and I'll be a while getting over it.  Don't take that remark as meaning I don't like young people.  I wouldn't have stayed in the business so long had I not loved them . . . and I still do.  I used to know how to talk to them, but that just goes with the territory of being a college professor.  And it takes more than just liking young people to deal with them.  You've got to respect them. 

I miss some things about being around kids all the time.  They keep you energetic, and that's good.  But they also wear you down, and the time comes when you need to pull away from all that.  You can retreat some, I've learned, but you can't get away from the kids.  They're everywhere, like swarms of ants, and they are in a dominant position in our society.  They're too young and inexperienced to be leaders in a literal sense, but the lead the pack in other areas . . . including the internet.  I try to write blogs every day, and most of them are intended for a younger audience.  Doing that, however, makes me feel a lilttle  uncomfortable.  What am I doing here with all these kids?  Old farts should blog for other old folks, and I see a lot of blogs out there intended for that crowd.  My problem is that I don't know what to say to old people, and I'm old as dirt.  I stayed around young people too long, and now I'm wading in a shallow pool these days.

We all need to spend time where we're comfortable, and I work hard at creating a place where I'm at home.  My daughter came to my house once, walked around a bit, then said, "Your house smells like old people houses."  My response was that real evidence points to the fact that most old people smell a lot better than young people, but I knew where she was coming from.  I remember how my grandparent's home smelled, and it smelled old.  I don't know that smell now, and maybe that's because it's all around me these days.  I'm married to a woman who's got a nose like a bloodhound, so she keeps this house smelling good.  If a mouse farts in China, she can smell it.  The only thing I can figure is that she's got used to how I smell, and that must not be too bad, or I'd hear about it.

If you've raised teenagers, you know what bad smell is.  I still can't figure out how they can get a pair of sneakers so foul smelling that nothing can save them.  Going into a teenager's room is a real challenge sometimes, even if you stay after them to keep it clean.  Ever spend any time in a college dorm?  How about a gym?  Ever take a long bus trip with a bunch of jocks?  And they think we smell bad?  Well, she didn't say bad; she just said old . . .and to a young person, old is bad.  The younger folks have better smellers than we do, so maybe that counts for something. 

My point here is simple: I don't really feel comfortable around people of any age these days.  I've lost my touch with kids, don't especially enjoy the company of people my age, and I sure don't want to hang around those middle years folks.  They know too much, if you get my drift.  Several years ago we were fortunate enough to have all the kids home for Christmas, and they're all in their forties.  The grandkids were here, but they were no bother.  After the house cleared out, I said to my wife, "The only reason the kids come home is to straighten our dumb asses out.  We don't know a thing about how to raise kids, we can't cook or dress ourselves properly, and we're just not aware of what's going on around us."  She just smiled and said, "Yep."

So, I'll ask the question again.  What am I doing here with all these kids?  I dunno.