BOWLS ARE FOR THE BIRDS

I just read through the list of bowls, some three dozen of them, with some disgust and dismay.  I realize sponsorship is important, but the names of bowls turn me off.  Whatever happened to bowls named after flowers and fruits?  Now they're named after the sponsor, the money men, the backers.  In my opinion, bowls are for the birds.  I suggest we change the name of all bowls to bird names.  The one that decides the national champion should be the Eagle Bowl, for instance.  And we could have names for lesser bowls like the Sparrow Bowl, or Hummingbird Bowl. 

We could have a Buzzard Bowl for teams who usually stink up the place, or maybe a Duck Bowl for redneck viewers.  What about a Parrot Bowl, or a Stork Bowl?  Maybe a Bluejay Bowl, or Red Bird Bowl?  Yeah, I know, it sounds stupid, but it beats hell out of calling a bowl something like the Viagra Bowl, or the Kotex Bowl.  On second thought, maybe a bowl called the Viagra Bowl would be a good idea, pit two football teams against each another who have a hard time getting up for games.

I'm going to be old fashioned and just watch the bowl games with traditional names, like the Rose Bowl and the Cotton Bowl and the Orange Bowl.  And I don't even care what teams are playing in them.