LOOSE STRINGS

Should I keep a tight rein on this horse, or does it not need that?  Some horses need the bit in their mouth, and maybe a tight rein at times, but others don't.  I knew a cowboy once that rode his horse with just a pigging string around its neck, and did just fine with that.  These days, I keep lots of animals, too many to keep a tight rein on most of them.  We're talking cats and dogs here, and like people, each of them is different.  I have cats that are dependent, won't allow much control and must be left to fend for themselves outside.  That's the way they want it, and so I allow it.  And then there's the come and go cat, the one who wants inside for a while, and then wants to run free for a while. Petie, one of my calico cats, is like that.  She's antisocial with other cats, fights with them, and they all know she's easy to get riled up.  Petie accepts the house only when she's in my wife's bedroom/bath area.  Only three cats are allowed back there, and Petie is one of them . . . when she's inside.  I just went into the yard to get Petie out of a tree.  One of the outside cats was picking on her, so I shooed him away and she came to me.  And there Sparkle, a mottled black cat that's just not people friendly.  She lets me know when she need something, has made friends with the outside cats and hangs out with them.  They all stay close to the house, have comfortable places out there to sleep at night.

But . . . dogs are the crabgrass on the lawn of life for animal lovers.  Dogs are dumber than cats, and are more dependent.  I tolerate them because they're usually more lovable.  Nothing can love you like a dog, and that's a fact.  I've also got lots of dogs, and they're a lot of trouble.  One dog can screw up more than ten cats, create most of the problems around here . . . and I've still got 'em, so what does that say about my intelligence?  I've got a cow dog, a cocker spaniel, and a shitload of ornery little terriers.  They should call 'em terrorists.  The military should use them as attack dogs, if they ever start a war with midgets.  I figure that's coming sooner or later, big headlines, U.S. DECLARES WAR ON PYGMIES."

The world of animals is pretty much like the world of people, perhaps at a slightly higher level of intelligence.  With an animal, we can blame rude behavior on instincts, that survival of the fittest, natural selection thing.  With people, it's usually a product of aforethought.  I think animals are learning from us, though, and that's not always good.  There's a conspiracy going on around here about feeding time.  So, the dog goes to the cat and says, "If you'll knock that bowl off the counter, the old fart will come and clean up the mess and feed us."  And the cat says to the dog, "Ok, I'll do it, but you need to go bark and stand by the door so I can run outside when the old fart opens it."

I've never claimed to own an animal, but now I'm wondering if they don't own me.