Hiram E. Butts had a dream - a retirement village for people who didn't want to be swarmed over by corporate America. And since he was a multi-millionaire, he built one and laid down some strict rules about living there. This book came to mind when I decided that old age is a serious difficulty, and the best way to handle it is through a humorous approach. I created Percy B. Hand, known mostly as Uncle Percy, quite some time ago, but I moved him to Hiram's Cove. Percy became somewhat famous as an animal welfare activist. Nobody would've paid much attention to him, but he got into a fray with some dog fighters in his home town. Some of them went to the hospital after Percy pinged them on the noggin with an aluminum baseball bat. He's been known to whack other evil doers with his famous pinging bat . . . and he's likewise spent some time in jail for doing it.
But Hiram's Cove has other interesting characters, like Chuckie Phat Nuygen, a Vietnamese immigrant turned cowboy. Guzbo Lizzard, a Cajun writer, also lives in Hiram's Cove. In fact, the village has attracted quite a few unusual characters. You'll find few signs of corporate America in Hiram's Cove - no Wal-Mart, or Costco, or even a national chain auto parts store. No McDonalds, or Burger King, and no fancy pharmacy you find in most urban malls. If you want that stuff, you have to ride the bus to a bigger town not far away. If you want medicine, get it from an old time drug store. The village is not designed for rich retirees, nor does it try to attract them. It's a blue collar place, with blue collar attitudes for the most part. But the main character in this book is Uncle Percy, and he's always up to something.
Percy once got arrested in Austin when he took sides with homeless people, something that city has plenty of. Cops hauled him to jail for standing at an intersection beside a pile of broken bricks holding a sign that read, "A buck keeps me from chunking a brick through your windshield." He also got involved with a select group of abused women, or more precisely, strippers. He took their side when law enforcement cracked down on a barber shop that employed naked lady barbers . . . and he went to jail for that too. Percy makes a little extra money selling signature aluminum bats, like "the educator" for teachers dealing with unruly students. His animal abuser bat is called, "the butthole basher," and he has a new bat out for whacking mouthy Trump supporters called, "the Trump thumper." I think you'll like Percy, and I know you'll like Hiram's Cove. We'll be on Amazon with it before long.
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